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The Luckiest Family in the World
by Alena Cabral
From L-R: Josh, Christopher, Elizabeth, Daniel (in front),
Michael, Rick, Laura, Simon, Gianna, Alena, and Joey
Michael, Rick, Laura, Simon, Gianna, Alena, and Joey
Realistically though, we often fail at loving each other and people we don’t like. But when we fail, it means that we need to love ourselves enough to forgive and let ourselves move on and not dwell on it. There have been times where I’ve failed to love my family. There are times, when instead of going and helping my parents with my brothers, I just try to avoid being seen, or just say “I am too busy.” After I do this, I feel bad. I start to think, what if they think that I don’t care about them or love them anymore. But then there are the times when I go to the hospital to pick up their medications and drive the medications home before I can go and do other things. I know that it’s the right thing to do, but it’s hard because it often means changing plans, or making an extra detour when I would rather just go home. But, as hard as it is to drive to that extra place, I know it’s better because that means that my brothers will hopefully get better, and I will be able to spend more time with them. And of course, the bonus is that smile I get when I get home and go up to one of the kids and say, “Look what I got guys, your medications.” And then stick out my hand for a payment, and they just laugh at me with thankful eyes.
When you really love someone, it takes so much work and so much effort. It takes time and sacrifice. You think about and do things for the benefit of the other person. You live to make sure that the other person has everything that you can give them. To truly love someone is probably one of the hardest things we could ever do, yet we receive the most rewarding feelings that we could have ever received. Both my siblings and my parents have shown me how to truly love others.
But the love doesn’t only have negatives. In my family, we have four wheelchairs, and it’s often hard to get around. When it would normally take five minutes for a family to get in the car, it takes mine thirty, sometimes longer. You would think that this would stop my parents from going on adventures or going out places. However, this could not be farther from the truth. The best thing about my parents is that they have always tried their hardest to find as many things for my family to do together as possible. Growing up we often made trips to Sea World or Legoland, both in San Diego. Whenever we would go to an adventure park, my parents would take the kids on any of the rides that they wanted to go on that were also safe for them. You could see the smiles on my brothers’ faces as they watched Shamu jump in the air or when they would go on a ride at Legoland. We would also go to museums about science in Los Angeles, and we go to the annual Orange County fair at least once a year where the kids go on many of the rides.
My parents have never let my brothers' disabilities get in the way of having fun and going out together. Even after three of my brothers got G-tubes, we would go out to eat and celebrate at any chance we could get. My parents have never seen my brothers’ disabilities as something bad. They have always seen them as gifts of God, just like all of their children. This has shown me the true meaning of loving everyone no matter what.
Many people have asked me why my parents would still want to have kids, especially after having the first three boys in wheelchairs. The answer that I give them is simple. My brothers are the best people I have ever met, and my parents realize that. I am just lucky that God thought that I was good enough to be put into the same family as my wonderful parents and brothers and sisters. We’re all unique; we all have our struggles. Some of us have more visible struggles than others, that’s the only difference between my family and yours.
We are the luckiest family in the world, because we have God on our side, and we have been given the opportunity to bring others to Him. My brothers’ example of enjoying life in the midst of suffering is pure; they seek no reward or praise or acknowledgment. They just live life the way God has called them to, as our parents try to do as well. My parents never tried to play God. They know that God gave us this situation so we can bring people to Him, and that is what they have chosen to do. I know my brothers really well, and I know that they love life. As hard as it can be on all of us sometimes, we know that this is what we were called to do by God, and my brothers and sisters have fully embraced that idea. Joey, my extended family, and most of our friends have come to the same conclusion that my family has: God will give us what we need to go through life and make a difference in the world around us. We are all given the choice to accept this or deny it. We have chosen to accept, love, and embrace it.
When you really love someone, it takes so much work and so much effort. It takes time and sacrifice. You think about and do things for the benefit of the other person. You live to make sure that the other person has everything that you can give them. To truly love someone is probably one of the hardest things we could ever do, yet we receive the most rewarding feelings that we could have ever received. Both my siblings and my parents have shown me how to truly love others.
But the love doesn’t only have negatives. In my family, we have four wheelchairs, and it’s often hard to get around. When it would normally take five minutes for a family to get in the car, it takes mine thirty, sometimes longer. You would think that this would stop my parents from going on adventures or going out places. However, this could not be farther from the truth. The best thing about my parents is that they have always tried their hardest to find as many things for my family to do together as possible. Growing up we often made trips to Sea World or Legoland, both in San Diego. Whenever we would go to an adventure park, my parents would take the kids on any of the rides that they wanted to go on that were also safe for them. You could see the smiles on my brothers’ faces as they watched Shamu jump in the air or when they would go on a ride at Legoland. We would also go to museums about science in Los Angeles, and we go to the annual Orange County fair at least once a year where the kids go on many of the rides.
My parents have never let my brothers' disabilities get in the way of having fun and going out together. Even after three of my brothers got G-tubes, we would go out to eat and celebrate at any chance we could get. My parents have never seen my brothers’ disabilities as something bad. They have always seen them as gifts of God, just like all of their children. This has shown me the true meaning of loving everyone no matter what.
Many people have asked me why my parents would still want to have kids, especially after having the first three boys in wheelchairs. The answer that I give them is simple. My brothers are the best people I have ever met, and my parents realize that. I am just lucky that God thought that I was good enough to be put into the same family as my wonderful parents and brothers and sisters. We’re all unique; we all have our struggles. Some of us have more visible struggles than others, that’s the only difference between my family and yours.
We are the luckiest family in the world, because we have God on our side, and we have been given the opportunity to bring others to Him. My brothers’ example of enjoying life in the midst of suffering is pure; they seek no reward or praise or acknowledgment. They just live life the way God has called them to, as our parents try to do as well. My parents never tried to play God. They know that God gave us this situation so we can bring people to Him, and that is what they have chosen to do. I know my brothers really well, and I know that they love life. As hard as it can be on all of us sometimes, we know that this is what we were called to do by God, and my brothers and sisters have fully embraced that idea. Joey, my extended family, and most of our friends have come to the same conclusion that my family has: God will give us what we need to go through life and make a difference in the world around us. We are all given the choice to accept this or deny it. We have chosen to accept, love, and embrace it.
Alena Cabral is 19 and is finishing up her first year at John Paul the Great Catholic University in San Diego, CA, where she is studying Media Communications. You can contact Alena via email at alenacabral@cox.net.
*Karina Justine Cabral was born on May 23, 2008, weighing 6 lbs., 3 oz, and measuring 18.5 inches long. Congratulations to the Cabral family!
The day my boyfriend, Joey, and I started dating in 2005, a side of my family, a part of me, showed, that I was hoping would have waited a little longer. It’s not that I was ashamed of my family; it was that people often get scared of what goes on. There were at that point eight of us kids in the family, me being the oldest, so there were ten of us in my house. Four of my five brothers are in wheelchairs.
The three oldest, Michael, Christopher, and Daniel all are fed through a tube that leads directly to their stomach called a G-tube because their throat muscles are weakening and they have trouble swallowing. They can make sounds and somewhat communicate,
Even after 17 years, the doctors still don’t have a name for what my brothers have.
Even after 17 years, the doctors still don’t have a name for what my brothers have. As of now, there is not a condition that is already known that matches with the blood and tissue tests that have been done. They find that it has something to do with a muscular degenerative disorder, meaning that as the years go by, they are able to gain muscle, but once they lose the muscle that they have gained, they can’t get it back. So, when they get sick and lose a skill, it is very hard, nearly impossible, for them to get it back. The three oldest, Michael, Christopher, and Daniel all are fed through a tube that leads directly to their stomach called a G-tube because their throat muscles are weakening and they have trouble swallowing. They can make sounds and somewhat communicate,
but unless you know them well, it’s really hard to understand them. Michael, who is 17, and the oldest of the boys, can still sit in his wheelchair, but often he is tired or sick, so we have a bed in our living room that he can lay down in and still be with the family. Christopher, who is 15, is probably the strongest of the three older boys. He can still eat some types of food and he can drink soft drinks and water in small sips. He has a strong upper body so he is able to sit fairly easy in his wheelchair. Daniel, who is 13, is probably the worst off. Along with everything I’ve already talked about, he always has to be lying down and has a tracheotomy in his throat to help him breathe. This also helps my parents if he has a problem because they can have easier access to his lungs. We have another bed in our living room next to Michael’s that he is always in when he is at home. His wheelchair is also specially made so that he can lay down when we go out places.
After Daniel there are Josh and Elizabeth who don’t have any physical disabilities, similar to me. After those two, there is Simon who is 6. He is also in a wheelchair. He crawls around the house and can walk in his walker. His sidekick is Gianna, who is two and will probably end up being a lot like me. She has learned to walk; but when she first started to try walking she would hold on to things and pull herself up. Simon, consequently, also started trying to pull himself up to stand, but hasn’t been able to stand by himself. My mom is currently pregnant with the ninth child in our family, and is due at the end of May 2008.* So, as you can probably picture, there often are wheelchairs and medical supplies and tables and toys for the younger kids all over the place. And on top of that, the sounds of all the machines and alarms that the boys have are going on and off constantly.
This is what I have grown up with, this is what my cousins and little brothers and sisters have grown up with, so we are used to it. Many of the guys I know wouldn't have stayed after they met my family, much less actually learned how to take care of them like Joey has. He never made me feel like I wasn’t good enough or that my family was too different. He embraced me and my family as we are.
When I see him interacting with the boys, it gives me encouragement to continue to do everything that I do. He makes me realize that I have a choice about how much I help, and his actions remind me of what a special relationship I have with each one of my siblings.
After Daniel there are Josh and Elizabeth who don’t have any physical disabilities, similar to me. After those two, there is Simon who is 6. He is also in a wheelchair. He crawls around the house and can walk in his walker. His sidekick is Gianna, who is two and will probably end up being a lot like me. She has learned to walk; but when she first started to try walking she would hold on to things and pull herself up. Simon, consequently, also started trying to pull himself up to stand, but hasn’t been able to stand by himself. My mom is currently pregnant with the ninth child in our family, and is due at the end of May 2008.* So, as you can probably picture, there often are wheelchairs and medical supplies and tables and toys for the younger kids all over the place. And on top of that, the sounds of all the machines and alarms that the boys have are going on and off constantly.
This is what I have grown up with, this is what my cousins and little brothers and sisters have grown up with, so we are used to it. Many of the guys I know wouldn't have stayed after they met my family, much less actually learned how to take care of them like Joey has. He never made me feel like I wasn’t good enough or that my family was too different. He embraced me and my family as we are.
My brothers are the best people I have ever met and my parents realize that. I am just lucky that God tought that I was good enough to be put into the same family as my wonderful parents and brothers and sisters.
He makes my brothers and sisters feel like they are the most important thing to him. He makes sure, on his own, to go and talk to the kids, and play games and laugh with them, just like he would if they were able to walk and talk. He doesn’t care what they look like or whether or not they can play football with him. He plays ball with Christopher, makes jokes, and plays “nurse” to make Michael and Daniel laugh at his craziness. He does anything and everything he can think of to communicate and sometimes he just sits and hangs out with them. When I see him interacting with the boys, it gives me encouragement to continue to do everything that I do. He makes me realize that I have a choice about how much I help, and his actions remind me of what a special relationship I have with each one of my siblings.
