Friends,

I wrote the following after being given the gift of seeing the purpose of my miscarried daughter's life so shortly after her death. God is so good!! My hope is that this seed of knowledge (which I learned the hard way) will benefit many others in the future as they realize they have a viable option regarding their baby's remains following a miscarriage. Feel free to distribute as you'd like.

In Christ,

Cathy

ByCathy R.

12/8/03

I have not yet met my baby face to face, but I've seen her tiny image roughly outlined on the ultrasound screen and I have felt and seen the morphing of my body as it grew to prepare a temporary, cozy home for her 40 week stay within me. And, even though her life was cut short as her tiny heart stopped beating inexplicably at almost 10 weeks of age, I am consoled by the knowledge that her brief life had a purpose—a purpose that is partially fulfilled as I share these words with you.

It all began as I spent the weekend pondering the D&C procedure my doctor recommended when I learned that the baby I hoped to hold in my arms next June, had died. I was troubled by the procedure because I knew it was the same procedure used for elective abortions-something I was adamantly opposed to. Even though my faith gave me the security that my baby's soul was with God, I wondered if this procedure would treat my baby's tiny body with the respect and dignity due to all human life. I was consoled by my pastor who reassured me that there was nothing immoral about a D&C when the baby was no longer living. However, another priest friend went a step further, directing me to request the remains of my baby so I could have them buried.

Questions flashed through my mind: How is this done? Where would I bury my baby? These questions could have stopped me from taking any further action, but I was plagued by a question which was gnawing at my conscience: How can I justify my conviction that life begins at conception and give my baby a name, but let her tiny body be destroyed as medical waste along with surgical gloves and used needles? I couldn't. Not this time. You see, I had miscarried another baby 2 ½ years ago and I didn't take any action in this regard. At the time, I wasn't ready to ask the questions, to challenge the system, to rock the boat. But God had planted the seed then and over the last couple of years, strengthened my faith and my pro-life convictions, in addition to bringing beautiful witnesses into my life. He watered and tilled the soil. I was ready to accept the challenge God put before me.

I called my doctor early Monday morning to ask that he treat my baby with as much respect as possible during the D&C, and to request the remains of my baby for burial. My request was met with initial resistance, but a willingness to explore the matter further. You see my doctor and his wife had experienced the pain of miscarriage as well and he understood the need to recognize the grief and help bring closure. After talking to the hospital administration and a funeral director at my local funeral home, I learned of the many regulations that had to be followed, but that it was possible to honor my wishes without spending a fortune. In going through this process, I felt God calling me to educate others about the options they have when their pregnancy ends in the first or second trimester. My dream would be that cemeteries across the United States could establish a special place where the remains of miscarried babies could be memorialized. We will work to see that this happens. This, after all, is my baby Teresa's purpose in life—this is the legacy she leaves to a world she will never know. As a footnote to this story, I'd like to thank Forest Park East Cemetery for not only donating the plot for Teresa's burial, but also reserving 27 additional plots for others wishing to bury their miscarried babies in the future. Teresa's legacy lives on in Houston. The only cost incurred by those wishing to bury their baby's remains would be a $25 fee for paperwork and a donation (if desired) for the engraving of the baby's name on the burial marker.